Defining Family

"While he yet talked to the people, behold, his mother and his brethren stood without, desiring to speak with him. Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee. But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren?

And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother." Matthew 12:46-50 (KJV)

The bonds of family are supposed to be the bonds of love and unity, correct? Hardly the case for many, even from the beginning of time we see this when Abel was killed by his brother Cain. And yet many look to those ties to find a sense of history, purpose, love and identity. But Christ made His point clear, that we only find those things, when we seek them, in God and His purposes.

Our faith in God, Christ Jesus and the Holy Spirit is what makes us family. It is the bond of love made visible.

But this is not to disparage those ties we have in family. In point of fact, it is the family that can be our source of life. Of course we must admit it can just as readily be our source of death, for our love and very human spirits. I have recently been in the midst of a familial crisis of epic porportions, both ungodly and lacking any love, or even care, of the very ties that should be fully inclusive and should bring us joy.

But God is saying a different thing, transcending the human condition and giving us a glimpse of what REAL love should be. And we desparately need to understand what is being said here, and how it applies in our daily lives.

"For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law." Matthew 10:35 (KJV)

So why is this the case? The answer lies in the two concepts of these verse, the personage and teachings of Christ. Again why? In Christ we have discipleship, adoption and become joint and co-heirs to the heritage of God. Namely we inherit Eternal Life. Then Christ is the crux and the much more than just mere Salvation. This reflects the personage of Christ.

Then we need to understand that every word that God gives is embued with Divinity, promise or damnation, reflecting the truths and principles that Christ taught. In other words the Word of God either moves us to higher ground by living it, or damns us through the Law and being in rebellion to it.

This transcends mortal family ties, these are the principles of life that tie us to God, even as it shows us how important the concept of family is supposed be. In family there is suppose to be a common goal, a pooling of resources, thoughts and principles that define our kindred spirits focused on familial continuance and prosperity.

This also holds true in our walk with God, through Christ Jesus.

But only in our Divine Heritage are these things truly given and designed to give us purpose and identity. Do you see my point? God is the Father to ALL mankind and His purpose is to give us an inheritance of Eternal Existance like His own. He wants you to have what He has. His whole purpose was for us to be with Him and He gave His own Son that we could walk the bridge of Discipleship back home. The Prodigal Son parable was to illustrate this point.

Matthew 10:36-38 gives a rather pointed reason why the human family does not do what is expected, and why it falls short in giving us the things we need for life, especially the Christian life when unequally yoked. 

"And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me." 

And now we see the conflict in a more clear light. How sad and true the statement Christ Jesus made here. But not all human families fail.

I must admit that the last point is what escaped me at first, I simmply did not understand. Unfortunately the last two months have made that verse come alive for me. My family ties are laying torn and frayed, and in their tattered condition I now walk with only my son, two sisters and God (who is always first). Doctrinal problems? No.

Maybe they don't believe as I do in all things, but it is not a theological wall. The insurmountable divide is love, unconditional and unfeigned, and the absolute lack of it. The very fabric upon which family is built, love, simply does not exist.

Love is to be unconditional, forgiving and seeking only to 'give', not seeking to constantly 'get'. These things are not in place, even though they have been espoused for decades. Really. So I have learned this lesson in the most troubling and painful ways possible.

I had committed myself to family and it's 'healthy' purposes as I looked for 'what could be' and only received that which 'should not be there'. The experience was not only painful in it's complete uprooting of my life, but changed many of the things that I had held true.

What do we take away from this? That the bonds of family are the bonds of love, or rather should be, however the human animal is flawed and many families do not know how to love, or know that real love is unconditional. However, God's love is perfect, and always is and always will be. It is perfect in the giving of that love, and perfect in the forgiveness of our flaws, and is the love that we should give one to another.

Remember that His love is so great He gave us Jesus Christ who also loved us enough to die on that cross to redeem a world. How can any mortal tie compete with that? 

Only by being a partaker of that love and then sharing it with others can we even hope to give what little that we ourselves can give, a clouded reflection of that Divine Love. Remember our Walk Of Faith is about love in all it's attributes: loving God with all our hearts, souls, minds and strength, and then, loving each other as we love ourselves. Simple and concise, but true faith, and love, always is.

So love with wisdom, and walk with God, in the final analysis it means everything.

Be blessed, be loved, and be at peace. May the light of God's glory and presence fire the brilliance of your souls. And remember God loves you JUST because you are....